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Funny Jokes

Posted: Tue May 10, 2016 7:06 am
by Enjl
I can't believe we don't have a topic unironically dedicated to jokes yet.
I'll start with a silly joke I got from TFTS:

Satan and Jesus are programming away one day, when Satan turns and says: "Hey Jesus, I bet I can program better than you."

Jesus says "You're on!", and both start programming furiously. Satan begins laughing: "Hah, yes I am almost done!"
Not wanting to be shown up by Satan, Jesus fires a bolt of lightning, causing both systems to go out. Satan screams: "Noooo! I hadn't saved!"
Jesus turns to Satan: "Jesus saves."

If you come up with a funny joke or find one online, share it here!

Re: Funny Jokes

Posted: Tue May 10, 2016 7:21 am
by PixelPest
A neutrons walks into a bar and asks the bartender how much it'll be for a drink. "For you--no charge," the bartender replies

Re: Funny Jokes

Posted: Tue May 10, 2016 9:34 am
by Metroidologist X7
In a diner:
-Customer: Hey, waiter!
-Waiter: How can I help you?
-C: What kind of place is this? I FOUND A FLY IN MY SOUP!!
-W: Don't worry. The spider over your bread will take care of it.

Re: Funny Jokes

Posted: Tue May 10, 2016 3:36 pm
by Aero
Why did the scarecrow get the award?

He was out standing in his field.

Re: Funny Jokes

Posted: Tue May 10, 2016 3:40 pm
by Superiorstar
You people really put the P U in pun.

Re: Funny Jokes

Posted: Tue May 10, 2016 3:41 pm
by Zipper
>this whole thread

Image

Re: Funny Jokes

Posted: Tue May 10, 2016 3:54 pm
by PixelPest
Here's a joke for you fellow math nerds and LOTR fans:

Gandalf walks up to (0, 0) on a graph of the function f(x) = 1/x , slams his staff into the x-axis and yells, "You shall not pass."

Re: Funny Jokes

Posted: Tue May 10, 2016 4:27 pm
by HenryRichard
A boy was trying to play a Lord of the Rings game at the arcade. He put a quarter in the machine, but that didn't start it. He thought he didn't put enough in, so he inserted another quarter. That didn't work either. He kept trying until he had spent $2.25, when he realized it doesn't take quarters; it takes tolkiens.

Re: Funny Jokes

Posted: Tue May 10, 2016 5:28 pm
by FireyPaperMario
Here's an joke from TeamFourStar's "Dragon Ball Z Abridged" ^.^')
Vegeta, what's the scouter say about his power level again?
It's... 1,006!
Seriously? I'll take him down!
*Gets beat up by Goku*
Nappa, I got the scouter upside down, it's over 9000! RAW!!!
Hope you guys been watching DBZ Abridged.
^.^')

Re: Funny Jokes

Posted: Tue May 10, 2016 6:26 pm
by Artemis008

literally this whole thread XD

Re: Funny Jokes

Posted: Tue May 10, 2016 6:51 pm
by TheLordKhon
why are americans bad at dota?


because they cant defend their towers

Re: Funny Jokes

Posted: Tue May 10, 2016 6:52 pm
by ProngoKingdom
A fat man walks into a cafe and sits at a table. A waitress comes over to take his order.

"Hello sir," the waitress said. "What would you like today?"

The man sat up as straight as he could. "I'd like two slices of apple pie with a large helping of whipped cream on top, lashed with hot fudge sauce and chopped nuts."

The waitress told the cook to make the pie and thus he did. The waitress brought out the pie to him.

"Would you like the cherry on top?" asked the waitress."

"No thanks," said the man. "I'm on a diet."

Re: Funny Jokes

Posted: Tue May 10, 2016 6:53 pm
by MistakesWereMade
Three blonde women are on the side of a river wondering how they will get across. The first one decides to pray saying "God please make me smart enough to get across this river." so God turns her into a brunette and she swims across the river. The second also prays saying "Dear God, please make me twice as smart as the last girl so I can get across this river." So God turns her into a red head and she builds a boat and rows across the river. The third also prays "Dear God, please make me twice as smart as both of those women combined." So God turns her into a man and she walks across the bridge.

Re: Funny Jokes

Posted: Tue May 10, 2016 7:09 pm
by Aero
What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can't tuna fish.

Re: Funny Jokes

Posted: Tue May 10, 2016 8:29 pm
by PixelPest

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nMFOPfvDlc

This is one of the funniest things I've ever watched, but if you're easily offended don't watch it

Re: Funny Jokes

Posted: Tue May 10, 2016 11:09 pm
by Pseudo
Nien wrote:Three blonde women are on the side of a river wondering how they will get across. The first one decides to pray saying "God please make me smart enough to get across this river." so God turns her into a brunette and she swims across the river. The second also prays saying "Dear God, please make me twice as smart as the last girl so I can get across this river." So God turns her into a red head and she builds a boat and rows across the river. The third also prays "Dear God, please make me twice as smart as both of those women combined." So God turns her into a man and she walks across the bridge.
tee hee blatant sexism

Also, Khon, that's pretty borderline inappropriate humor. I'll allow it, but let's not go ANY further down that road OK?

Re: Funny Jokes

Posted: Tue May 10, 2016 11:51 pm
by Aero
Thank you for intervening Pseudo-dino, that was getting pretty intense!

What did the blanket say to the bed?

Don't worry, I've got you covered!

Re: Funny Jokes

Posted: Wed May 11, 2016 10:38 am
by ProngoKingdom
Oh wait, I got another one!

React World.

Re: Funny Jokes

Posted: Wed May 11, 2016 10:55 am
by Mable
ProngoKingdom wrote:Oh wait, I got another one!

React World.
No

Re: Funny Jokes

Posted: Wed May 11, 2016 10:59 am
by h2643
My life.